emily the human

so i haven’t posted bloggerificness in a while. but things have been happening that leave me speechfull.

two things.

in these past few days i have been approached by 5 men. boys. males. about their interest in me. now i’m certainly not on here to brag or boast because really there is nothing to boast or brag about. and not because they aren’t redeemable gentlemen. but simply because not one of them is at the right time in their life to allow me to be apart of it. which is fine i don’t resent them. but it just leaves me curious about the right time. is there ever a right time for anything? just imagine in a parallel universe the fire would burn pink, orange would be my favourite colour and i’d have 3 kids in a villa in tuscany.

instead here i am listening to the musical stylings of Hans Zimmer in the wrong time. now i know i’m naively only eighteen. and i understand that i have plenty of time for all of this silliness throughout the duration of my life. which is good and i cant wait. however seeing as this has been happening to me with such frequency lately. i have simply become curious as to the reason. naturally. mostly curious as to the odd time in my life as well. everything has been changing so much around me lately that i feel as if my life is a tree and the people in it are the leaves. each one of them changing around me. and i’m not sure how to feel about all this. i don’t know maybe i should read my horoscope or something. but everything that i knew seems to be going from me. i know that i am building new friendships and i am happy with them. there’s just always that longing for the known. well. at least for the time being there is. was.

ever since i was little always i wanted to be at least 3 years older than i was at the time. always jumping the gun. always proving that i can handle anything. and i suppose in a way i’ve sort of lost that. until now. gotta have gumption.

as fefe always said. Never Lose Your Childish Enthusiasm And Things Will Come Your Way.

xzullyzombiex: